"Resilient people are aware of situations, their own emotional reactions, and the behavior of those around them. ... By remaining aware, resilient people can maintain control of a situation and think of new ways to tackle problems. Another characteristic of resilience is the understanding that life is full of challenges." - www.verywellmind.com
I'm not very open about it but I am a single mom.
As life continues, I realize that everything I feared is staring me in the face and I can either sink or swim. My dream didn't include a little one lol for the longest I cried about where Skylar would fit into my day/my daily routines. The thought of raising a child while still finding ways to succeed at my plans; just never sat well with me. I literally could not and did not want to wrap my mind around that lifestyle. Why? Well, I never want my child to feel neglected or left behind because mommy didn't get to live her dreams beforehand.
Side note: I remember my friend Se7en telling me that I need to change my perspective! And when he said that I rolled my eyes because it's like my life is what it is, but I understood later that if I look at it from a different angle, my life is pretty beautiful! My future is still bright, and I can have it all not because it's going to be easy but because God already prepared me for this moment. I was built to be a super mom lol. I just need to dig deep and be proactive with my day every day and take help when people are offering it to me. We (me and sky dad who is also an ambitious person) don't have to do it alone.
I have made up my mind that We (me, Sky, and God) are going to rock this thing out until the end. I have always told myself "I can have it all", well now is the time to test my faith. To be honest, the process so far has been challenging. I'm not going to lie, there is enough time in a day to get things done, the hassle is having enough energy and interest in between breastfeeding all day and tending to her as she fusses about things that I will never be able to fully understand. I tell myself daily "I cannot rot away as a mom with dreams that were never lived." I would become resentful. So, I sucked it up and still am sucking it up because I understand once again that God has already prepared me for this moment. I was panicking because since my maternity leave, "I FELT" as if I have not gotten much done. But he reminded me that we took care of so much before my delivery date that I am ahead of the game. I just have to keep chugging along with my faith high and my love genuine
I know my fear is staring at me, but I am only looking at what God has in store for me. If you are in a situation that you know could be permanent if you don't suck it up and change it, please remember that we can't do anything WITH our strength alone. Like Pastor Toure' always said, "It has to be HIS strength, HIS power, and HIS might that will get us through.
Love you all,
HIS Ambitious Girl.